LOVE- what does it mean to u ?
5/11/2011
i doubt our love nw .i feel like u've changed for the worst . whr is the caring, loving and patient u ? i can't seem to find any of tht in u nw . U'VE CHANGED and u're denying it .
idk why u've changed . guess u're influenced by tht jerk or u're just sick and tired of me . u don't even bother to console me whn i'm utterly upset with u . well, mayb for a while but u'll give up shortly aft tht . why ? cos i'm stubborn ? yea i am and u shld have known me well frm the strt . honestly, i feel like i've endured and forgiven u too much till u're stepping on my head nw . wht's with all this shit ? i don't wanna be played with . i'm sick and tired of so .
u've broken UR promise once agn ytd . when u wished me happy birthday on my day, i broke down instantly . my only wish which was to celebrate my day with u have long been crashed by . and thr u were consoling me with all ur heart and making a promise to me tht u'll meet me on the 11th . mayb i was dumb to have high hopes tht u'll fulfill ur promise or mayb i was hypnotised by ur sweet nthgs .
u told me on midnight itself tht u're unable to lend the money frm ur friend and u're rwally penniless. why must it be tht late ? i don't understand . evrything is just like a dream which will nvr happen . i'm utterly disappointed cos u've disappoint me TWICE with ur broken promises . were promises meant to be broken in ur eyes ?
u tried ur best to console me agn bt i insisted tht i've finally hated u nw . i told u tht i don't want u to contact or bother abt me anymore . guess u were hurt by wht i said till u broke down ,saying u don't ever wanna let me go . deep in my heart , i was touched by it bt still , my disappointment in u overwhelmed me . i hung up my phone , saying tht i don't want anything to do with u anymore . last i heard was tht u'll ensure tht i'm still urs . i assume tht it's over btwn us.
idk wht do u want frm me . seriously .i've been searching for the answer and pray to Him tht i'll finally get to understand wht's goin on between us . i love you too much it shows all my emotions go out of control. i posted on my status: where were u when i needed u the most ? . tht jerk replied saying : he's gonna die cos of ur damn promise to him.
at tht moment , i panicked . i don't ever wanna lose u though i'm hurt with wht u've done to me. i called u up . u sounded really normal . did u easily forgot wht has hppened the day before or u can't be bothered with me anymore ? i decided to calm myself down and pretend tht nthg has happened ytd . tht jerk angered me while i was otp with u and thr goes my mood down the drain . i kept quiet cos of tht as i was utterly mad with him. i went on to vent my anger out . u were fed up with me nagging agn and wanna put dwon the phone . why the hell are u defending tht jerk ? u told me u'll call me agn tonight . do u think i'll easily forget abt this huh ? do you ?
on the other hand , mayb i'm too possesive of u . mayb i'm just too afraid of losing u till i heat up an argument at the smallest things tht happened and push all the blame on u .u have once told me tht my mindset is still nt matured yet as i still yea fight over the littlelest things . frm one point , i agree with u bt frm the other point i don't . i nag cos i love you , i fight cos i love you. 0r was i just goin overboard with my 'cos i love you' . guess i need a love doctor . it's been 2 mths plus nw tht i've last met u . do u even make the effort to meet me ? u told me tht u really2 miss me bt were u willing to go all out to prove wht u've said ?what are words if u really don't mean them but u say them ?
as for nw , i leave evrything to fate . maybe we were nt even fated to be together . mayb this is a test of how strong our love is .
for what i knw , my feelings for m=u won't ever fade no matter wht happens. i'll love you thru thick and thin .
how do u define love ?
